Alyssa Phillips

Sometimes You Need to do a Look Back to See How Far You’ve Come

I wasn’t sure I was getting anywhere on this healing journey. While I am noticing there are more good moments, I tend to get discouraged when it doesn’t seem like I am getting where I want to go quick enough. So, I decided to do a look back to where things were when I started.

I went down memory lane by looking at some videos that I recorded before I left my job as a special education teacher. I knew I was stressed…but…I didn’t realize how stressed I was until I looked at the videos. The first picture is of me in one of the videos. I was actually quite shocked when I looked back at how the stress had taken its toll on me back then.

The second picture is of me now. It’s a remarkable difference. A picture is worth a thousand words.

While I continue to work through my stress, I am encouraged to see how far I’ve come.

I have been honest about my journey. It hasn’t been easy. I started off paralyzed. Then with the support of my mentor/coach and a plan, I took just a few baby steps. When I was able to be a little less wobbly, I took some bigger steps.

I thought the journey would take a linear path. I’ve seen this cartoon before but never understood the impact of it until now. It captures my journey perfectly.

I struggled with being consistent. I still have difficulty with that. But, the steps I have taken so far, including being more aware, using meditation, and doing ThetaHealing^Ⓡ sessions have started to have an effect. An effect that I couldn’t see at first…until one day I did. I noticed that my anxiety had reduced quite a bit. And that was a miracle to me.

I still get anxious. But, I’m starting to know that I’m going to be ok. The anxiety doesn’t overtake every waking and sleeping moment the way it did before. I am learning to allow myself to feel the anxiety, honor it, listen to it, understand it, and then work through where my perception of what’s actually happening is off, to give me a chance to experience it less and less over time.

I’m not saying that I feel that all is right with the world. I have good days and bad days. I’m starting to feel grateful for the good days. I’m starting to understand the bad days. And I’m learning to cherish all the days.

What I’ve realized is, sometimes you need to do a look back at just how far you’ve come. It is important to celebrate the progress you do make while at the same time, allowing yourself time to heal.

A Bold Decision

Today, I made a bold decision. A decision I didn’t even know I could make. The decision was to have a day without full-blown panic.

I was surprised that my decision resulted in minimal panic. Normally, I panic at every unexpected circumstance. This time, if I felt myself starting to panic, I was able to calm down. I didn’t consciously use any one particular tool. Honestly, I’m not sure I used any anxiety management tool.

Here’s what happened. I was able to be flexible. And when I felt like I was going to panic or be hard on myself, I thought about the circumstances and was able to think about the consequences of my actions. I was able to recognize that if I made the wrong choices or a mistake, it wasn’t the end of the world. Nobody was going to die. I didn’t need to go into spiraling anxious thoughts that I was unable to rise out of.

The day started like any other day. I didn’t expect anything to be different. Yet, I got through my morning routine more quickly than normal. I was present with what I was doing. I was able to multitask, something I’ve always had difficulty doing and never thought it was possible for me to do.

I work in a Montessori school. I arrived at work a few minutes early rather than my usual rushing through the door. When I was unexpectedly pulled to sub as the lead teacher in a classroom I’d never worked in before, I was able to go into that classroom with minimal anxiety.

When things didn’t go perfectly, I didn’t beat myself up. I may have gotten a little anxious about how I could have done better. But, instead of shutting down, I briefly thought about what happened, mentally recognized that I was anxious and about to beat myself up, and then got focused on my work again. I had heard about getting centered when you’re off-center but have never put that into practice. This time, I did.

I noticed that I had moved into a place of service. When I focused on serving the students, I was able to forget about my own concerns about perfection and my own anxiety. I was smiling more because I had more awareness that I was coming from a heartfelt place.

There were times the anxiety started getting to me. Anxiety about things in my control and about things beyond my control. But, instead of freezing in the middle of it or allowing it to overtake me, I shelved it for later.

In shelving the anxiety, I allowed it a place. I was not fighting the anxiety. And by allowing it, it seemed like the anxiety did not feel a need to come back full force. When I returned to it later, the anxiety wasn’t there. Or, if it was, it was minimal.

I can’t really point to one thing that caused the shift. While maybe I wasn’t consistent with all of the practices I know can be helpful, if I’m honest with myself, I’ve been doing a little bit every day. I have, however, been fairly consistent with ThetaHealing^Ⓡ, addressing fear-based beliefs with this energy psychology technique. Sometimes, it takes time to experience the full effect from a ThetaHealing^Ⓡsession.

When I really thought about it, I realized that there is probably a compound effect of using these tools. You think that the tools aren’t doing any good until you see the impact on your daily life. It’s like learning to ride a bike – the repeated activity is creating new connections in your brain, but you don’t get any feedback until one day, you can ride the bike as if you’ve been riding it all along.

Making the decision not to panic today has shown me that it’s possible to have a day without panic. And, if I can have one day, then I can have more than one day. I’m beginning to see that it’s possible to live without panic being my go-to reaction.

The Fear of Not Being Liked

I must really find comfort in self-sabotaging what I want because I constantly do it. We self-sabotage when we engage in behaviors that cause us to get the opposite of what we want.

Some of this self-sabotaging behavior can be abusing drugs or alcohol, comfort eating, and procrastinating, among others. I don’t abuse drugs or alcohol and I rarely comfort eat. I will admit, I do procrastinate quite a bit.

But, I self-sabotage in other ways. It feels like every event that happens in my life is a form of self-sabotaging behavior. I end up not getting what I want because of how I react, how I communicate, or how I don’t communicate.

Like everybody else, I desperately want people to like me. And yet, I never allow anyone to really know me, much less like me. In social situations, I generally act in one of two ways. I either say nothing at all or act really awkward. I wait for someone to speak to me first, I don’t offer my hand for a handshake or initiate a hug. I don’t make people comfortable which is something that’s so important to me.

I’ve been noticing it a lot lately and looking at ways to show up differently.

The first thing I am going to do is treat everyone how I would like to be treated.

I’m going to ask questions, listen and comment on what they are saying.

I’m going to ask for clarification if I don’t understand something.

I’m going to stop expecting people to read my mind and I’m going to share my thoughts, my desires and my expectations with other people.

I’m going to smile more.

And I’m going to try not to take myself too seriously..

AND

I’m going to figure out who I am, what I enjoy, what I am passionate about and see my own value. Once I do, I’m going to worry less about what people think and work on being the best version of me.

Will Being More Aware Lead to Less Self-Sabotage?

In the spirit of my recent commitment to being honest with myself, I decided to check in with how I’m feeling. I realized that my anxiety is still very high. If I have to rate it on a 1-10 scale, when I actually look at it, I might rate it as at least an 8.

So, I decided to take a look at what this means and why.

For me, anxiety means I have trouble making even the smallest decisions, and that circumstances that come up feel catastrophic when they really aren’t. None of these seemingly catastrophic circumstances have been life or death. So why am I unable to control my anxiety?

I believe that my anxiety can be helped through a combination of practices: eating healthy, working on myself through ThetaHealing^Ⓡ, getting enough sleep, exercise, and a daily meditative practice.

Intellectually, I know that all of these things work to help with my anxiety. And yet, I fall back into the patterns of not doing all of the work that I need to do to heal the anxiety.

Sure, I’m fairly consistent with eating healthy. I very rarely eat junk food or fried food and mostly drink water, tea, and a little bit of coffee. But just eating healthy isn’t enough.

I don’t consistently do the other steps to healing the anxiety. Yes, I’ve been resisting the ThetaHealing^Ⓡ less and been more open to looking inward and changing the beliefs that are hidden in my subconscious. But I don’t always. The other day, I realized that I feel as if everything is catastrophic. Although I made a note of wanting to work through why it feels that way later, I never actually did.

For me, my anxiety also means that I struggle to complete tasks, which leads me into a cycle of staying up late to complete the tasks, needing to be up early, and being exhausted throughout the day for not getting enough sleep. I promised myself the other day that I would plan out what time I needed to get to bed, and plan to get ready an hour earlier. I’m still trying to figure that out. Even knowing what time I need to get up, I still struggle with putting everything down and getting to sleep on time.

I do not specifically set aside a time for exercising. I’ve never really been a fan. But, when I actually do exercise, I feel so much better during it and after.

I have not been doing a consistent daily meditative practice. The other day, I committed to doing a meditation that day whatever time it was. And I completed it, but it was not without interruptions. So, I lied to myself that I had done a meditation when in reality, I didn’t fully do it because a few times, I paused to do something else and then returned back to it instead of starting over. I also realized that I often have a hard time staying awake with meditations, so if I’m falling asleep, I’m not doing the meditation.

If I’m being truly honest with myself, I’m probably not going to change all of these in one day. But, I can start with one or two, and work to get past my habit of only doing the practices for a day or two before stopping.

I have all of these tools to help with anxiety, and yet I don’t use them. I know that I need to use them and yet, I get anxious about doing them. I’d love to hear your suggestions on how you stay on track.

What Could You Accomplish if Someone Helped Illuminate Your Path?

One of the things I didn’t understand before I went on this journey was the value of a trusted guide, mentor or coach.

One of the most valuable lessons from having a trusted guide is that I have been able to be kinder to myself. I often gave myself a hard time for not knowing what to do, not doing the work, and not doing anything different.

I’ve realized that there are reasons I haven’t been able to do it on my own. I have gotten such clarity about this. If I could have done this on my own, I would have. In many ways, that’s been a relief to me.

So, how has my trusted guide/coach helped me?

She sees things in me that I don’t see. She is always pointing out my strengths and my gifts. Often, I don’t see these things in myself. Sometimes, I forget that I have them. What she has taught me is that you just need one person to believe in you. She’s my one person. I have a greater understanding of why I don’t see these things and even more, why there’s always negative self-talk in the background. She helps me with strategies to address the negative self-talk and to see my truth. I now know there’s a calm and confident woman inside me and I am working hard to let her shine.

She points out when I am self-sabotaging. For example, when a minor issue comes up, it feels like a major catastrophe. Because I feel like it’s a catastrophic event, I believe it actually is. She is able to see when my feelings don’t match reality without judging me. She helps me to understand that my feelings are understandable under the circumstances. She helps me to see that my feelings are based on past experiences and we are able to identify those past experiences. We even sometimes identify the past experiences of my ancestors that are causing me to feel the way I do. She helps me to understand that I am using limited tools to problem solve and teaching me way better tools to find solutions to both experiences of the past and situations in the present.

She provides another perspective. Sometimes, I’m so caught up in my own stuff that I forget that others are experiencing life differently than I am. When I reach out to my coach and share my experience, she can gently remind me “hey, this doesn’t have to do with you.” I am working on not taking things so personally. I am working on sorting through when something is my stuff and when it’s someone else’s stuff. I am learning how to use my intuition to distinguish the two. I am learning how to trust my intuition. I understand that when I am in fight or flight, I can’t tap into my intuition. I am focusing on the practices she has taught me to calm down my fight or flight response. I feel like I am seeing a lot more clearly now as a result.

She provides action steps and accountability. My coach provides me with suggestions to move forward and helps me to figure out the steps myself. She lets me determine the pace although she may give me a gentle push every now and again. The actions steps aren’t based on “just do it” no matter how I am feeling. We incorporate meditation, breathing practices, ThetaHealing^Ⓡ sessions with her or on my own, as well as practical steps like saying yes to opportunities that show up and following up on those opportunities. When I make a promise to her that I am going to do it, I feel more committed to getting it done. There are times, however, when I don’t get it done. The great thing about my coach is that she doesn’t judge me or make me feel bad. Actually, just the opposite. We look at what is getting in my way and work through it with energy psychology work to create an opening so I can get it done.

She is consistently there for me. We schedule times to meet at periodic intervals but she is available to address questions, concerns or triggers in between scheduled sessions. If she is not available, she taught me to write down my questions, concerns or triggers on a note in my phone so I don’t forget and we can address it when we meet next. While she has a process, she doesn’t have a specific agenda and we are able to address things as they arise. It feels more organic rather than a one size fits all.

She provides me with great resources, whether it’s a book, blogger, podcast, workshop, or some other source of information. Some of my favorite resources have been books or meditations by Dr. Joe Dispenza, Into the Magic Shop by James Doty, Transforming Stress by Doc Childre and Deborah Rozman, Proof of Heaven by Eben Alexander, and all of the ThetaHealing^Ⓡ workshops I have taken.

She reminds me to use my gifts. I forget that I am actually capable and very smart, that I can problem solve when I don’t give up too quickly, that I have great insights in different situations (for example, I see people’s differences as beautiful), that my intuition can help me from being so fearful, that I love helping people and I get joy when others have successes, and more.

She cares and I am completely confident in that. I never feel alone on this journey which makes it easier to take chances, push boundaries, and practice being brave. I never feel judged and I know that she will be there for me, no matter what. Sometimes, I can even solve a problem by pretending I am having a conversation with her in my head.

If you work with a coach, I would love to hear how that’s working out for you and what’s been the biggest benefit on your journey?

P.S. I resisted my coach for a long time. I’ve observed her doing her own work and she has worked with other people for years. I didn’t think my mom was the right person to help me. What did I know? It turns out that she has a ton of great tools and I am glad I stopped digging my heels in and gave her a chance. If you’d like to talk to her about your specific circumstances, go to her website (belindaphillips.com) and request a meeting.

Sleep is NOT Overrated

I’ve noticed that I’ve been dragging…I mean really dragging. I have good intentions of going to sleep at a time that allows me to get 7 to 8 hours of sleep. Yet I never do. Since I have committed to being more aware of my actions and truthful with myself, I realized I’m actually only getting 4 to 5 hours of sleep on weekdays and 6 to 8 hours of sleep on the weekend.

I’ve identified that I need to start my night routine earlier. If I start when I want to be in bed, there’s no way I will get enough sleep. And then when morning comes, I’m still weary.

I intellectually know that when I get enough sleep, I feel better. I have more energy. My mood is better. And most importantly, I see more clearly and I am able to problem-solve better.

It made me think of the saying “Sleep is overrated.” Was that true? I decided to do a little research. I tried to be objective in my research and to compare my findings with my own experiences.

Here’s what I learned:

Sleep affects your mental abilities

Lack of sleep can cause increased accidents and errors. It’s been linked to slower response and impaired attention. When I do not have enough sleep, it takes me longer to process information. I have a harder time focusing and I make a lot of mistakes.

Sleep = memory consolidation

Memory consolidation is when recent experiences are transformed into long term memory. Ahhh, that explains why I’ve been told that a sleep cycle will enhance the healing work I do. I’ve been using a lot of ThetaHealing^Ⓡ work recently. ThetaHealing^Ⓡ is a form of energy psychology in which energy healing is used to teach my subconscious a new experience. A sleep cycle will consolidate that new experience into long term memory. This allows me to feel better than the way I felt before, view my world differently, and create new habits rather than repeat old self-sabotaging habits.

Sleep affects your mood

People who are sleep-deprived respond to low stressors as if they are high stressors. They lose the ability to let the small stuff go. When I don’t get enough sleep, everything feels catastrophic. I then become irritable, emotional, and irrational.

Sleep affects your appetite

A lack of sleep can cause a desire for high-calorie foods which usually translates to processed food, sugar and carbohydrates rather than healthier choices like fruits and vegetables. I notice that when I don’t get enough sleep and I have a high level of stress, I lose my appetite. However, whatever appetite I do have is for unhealthy junk food and I get stuck in a loop of not feeling well because of lack of sleep and not feeling well because of what I am eating.

It can take a long time to catch up on sleep

You may have heard that it is possible to catch up on sleep by sleeping longer another night. It might be true, but there’s a catch: One hour of not enough sleep takes four days to recover. With the lack of sleep I’ve been getting, it would take me a very long time to catch up on the amount of sleep I didn’t get.

With my newly focused awareness and newfound knowledge, I decided to come up with a plan:

I’m going to put on my calendar the time I need to be asleep in order to get 7 to 8 hours sleep each night.
I’m also going to give myself an hour for my night practices and put those in the calendar as well.
I will put down my phone at that time. Night practices will include a calming meditation or breathing practice.
I’ve shared this plan with someone I trust to help me be accountable.

I’ll let you know how it goes.

What practices have you implemented that help you with sleep?

What Can Happen When You Stop Lying to Yourself?

I have to admit, for a while now, I haven’t given 100% to anything I’ve done. In reality, I don’t know whether I’ve ever given 100%. I’ve always hid, or avoided, or distracted.

When I took a thoughtful and truthful look at why I don’t give 100%, it was crystal clear to me that I want a guarantee of the outcome. I don’t want to put a whole bunch of effort into something and it not work out.

So I pretend to put 100% effort into a task or goal. I may even lie to myself about the amount of effort I am putting in. And when I don’t get the results I want, I am really frustrated and feel like nothing can change.

When I’m being truthful to myself, I realize I may not be trying at all or I may be giving 20% and expect the results from giving 100%. There were plenty of times I even gave 0% effort. That way, I had least had the guarantee that the results would be no different.

I realized recently that this was a pattern of mine and I was doing it with my healing journey. The past couple of weeks, I was open to the idea of being honest with myself about what I was doing. I recognized that I was still avoiding, still distracting, and still pretending. However, I was taking some steps. I was honest that I wasn’t 100% all in but recognized that I was making a 20% effort.

And when I looked at what was happening with my 20% effort, I was surprised to see the positive changes that were occurring in my life. As my stress level reduced, as my fears got less intense, as the anxiety started to quiet down, I invited more good circumstances into my life and I was able to notice more opportunities showing up.

In a relatively short period of time, I got several part-time jobs that were a better fit than the previous 5 years of my working life. In addition, I decided to try online dating again. I was looking for a kind person with good values who wanted to engage in real conversation and explore the possibility of a meaningful relationship. Recently, I’ve gone out with someone who has piqued my interest. We’ve gone on a couple dates and I’ve been enjoying getting to know him and he seems interested in getting to know me. I don’t know where it will go but it shows me that when I am in a better space, I attract a better fit for me.

What steps have I taken so far? I’m trying to be aware of how I am showing up each day. I’ve been doing my best to address triggering situations as they come up. I’m consistently sharing my healing journey in my blog. I am meditating, doing my breathing practices, exercising, eating right, and getting enough sleep sporadically rather than consistently. That’s why I say it’s a 20% effort.

I haven’t been giving myself a hard time for not going 100% in. I am proud of myself for taking the steps that I have. I am proud of myself for being honest about the effort I am putting in and being aware of how my life is changing.

It really makes me think. If this much change has happened with the amount of effort I’ve put in, what could happen if I gave 100%?

Rather than looking for a guarantee, I am open to seeing what could happen. Maybe, just maybe, I could attract more unexpected opportunities and goodness into my life.

Today I Put Down My Shield and My Sword

Some people may think using energy work to relieve stress is nonsense. Today, I realized that I wasn’t totally on board with it. I don’t know if I I didn’t believe it could work or if I believed that it couldn’t work for me. Either way, I never fully embraced it…until recently.

I am very clear that we need evidence to believe in something. I don’t think that’s a bad thing. It seems unreasonable to go on blind faith.

I decided to look for evidence of the healing work I did a couple of days ago. What I focused on in my healing work that day is why I went to my go to approach of stress and hiding rather than asking questions and/or getting clarity about something I didn’t understand. I discovered that I was afraid of being seen as too emotional or as incompetent. I was able to use energy work to address these fears and confirmed the underlying beliefs were changed with muscle testing. Muscle testing is a way we can confirm what’s stored in muscle memory.

To look for evidence, I was more conscious the next day of when I asked questions to get clarity and when I didn’t. I was able to see that I did not feel as stressed about and I wasn’t as afraid to ask questions. I was quite proud of myself for doing the work. It felt good!

I shared the experience with my mentor/coach and asked her what else she saw in terms of ways I was self-sabotaging what I really wanted. She confirmed that I was in fact able to ask questions more easily for clarification. She also pointed out that I was exhibiting a lot of resistance to collaborating or being part of a team effort. We identified it as some form of resistance or shutting off an opportunity even when I wasn’t aware of it.

There were several instances of this occurring. First, someone asked for my advice in something I had expertise and valid opinions about and I brushed her off, stating I wasn’t very good at that rather than collaborating with her. Second, a colleague asked me to help her out while she was working with a student. I asked a clarifying question and she asked someone else to do it. What I was able to realize is that I didn’t tell her I would love to do what she asked if she would give me some direction, I instead responded with “I don’t know how to do that” and then asked for direction. I didn’t realize that my initial response in both cases wasn’t yes, I’d love to.

What I realized was that as much as I wanted to be part of a team, I was resisting invitations by others to be part of the collaborative team. I was only able to see this after my stress was not as heightened about asking a question.

The thing about doing this healing work is that there are layers to work through. A layer may not be revealed until the top layer is dealt with. Now that this resistance or shutting down an invitation to collaborate was revealed, I could explore that as well.

The process we have been using for healing takes some unexpected turns but always leads to me feeling better. And not just for that minute. We come up with strategies to put in place to create new habits to crowd out the old habits I had gotten into using old outdated tools to problem solve.

In this case, the healing journey led to me believing I had something to say as well as understanding context. Both of these have been huge issues for me.

I got evidence that I had indeed reaped the benefits of the healing right after we were done. Several instances came while I was involved in a collaborative effort or a collaborative conversation and I started to shut down an idea, or derail what we were doing with a question that was out of context.

In one instance, it was pointed out what I had done and I was able to be more open to collaborate and find a solution. In the other instance, I was able to see what I was doing and self-correct at the time. I was able to recognize that there was a time and a place for my question and that I could put my question on the shelf and discuss it at a time when it didn’t derail the momentum of our collaborative project.

It felt better doing it that way.

I am now starting to enjoy this healing process. In the past, I would resist because I thought it was too hard or I would get too emotional. What I have discovered is that while it might take some time, it’s not really hard and I experience the benefits of it right away.

What I have also discovered is, sometimes you aren’t able to see your own stuff. It’s important to work with someone who sees your potential and believes in you. Someone who can point your stuff out and guide you in a loving way. It’s also important to work with someone who uses tools that can actually help you. Through the years, I’ve gone to other professionals and I found it frustrating because we couldn’t come up with good solutions to what I was dealing with. What I know now is that while they had good intentions, the tools they were using were limited and could only take me so far.

I’m really lucky because my mom is that person for me. She loves me and she uses some pretty cool tools. She hasn’t always had these tools but she’s spent most of her life trying to figure out ways to help herself first, and then help others. Since I’ve stopped resisting collaborating with her, I now see the value of what she can provide if I let her. I also see the value of what we can do together.

The biggest resistance I’ve had is to this healing journey and the power of the collaborative effort with the right person and the right tools. Today, I decided to put down both my shield and my sword and embrace this collaborative process.

I can’t wait to see what tomorrow will bring.

One Day I Learned How to Stop Hiding

For as long as I can remember, I have struggled with communication. The everyday communication. The implicit understanding of words, of tone, and of nonverbal communication.

I’ve taken several classes on communication – a public speaking class in high school and in college, a Dale Carnegie course, and I was part of Toastmasters for two years. Toastmasters is a club that meets weekly to help improve communication and leadership skills.

Recently, there was a situation that came up that made me keenly aware just how much I struggle with communicating and communicating appropriately. And once again, I was not cognizant that the triggering situation might have to do with a subconscious belief.

Here’s what happened:

A couple of weeks ago, I had a cavity filled at my dentist . Per his advice, I was on the alert for hot and cold sensitivity, since that could be indicative of the need to have a root canal. Shortly thereafter, I noticed more sensitivity than normal. I wasn’t sure if I was feeling pain because of the power of suggestion or if the pain was real. Then, the pain got worse. It was blinding pain whenever I took a bite of or drank something hot or cold.

I went to the dentist and the reason for the pain was discovered. There was a gap in the filling leaving a nerve exposed. The filling was replaced with some extra precautions to address the exposed nerve.

When I went to check out, I paid my previous balance, and received an estimate of the cost to replace the filling. I was confused by the charges since the original filling wasn’t done correctly but couldn’t find the words to address my concerns. I tried to say something, got flustered and left frustrated.

When I got home, I thought about what I could have said. I could have asked for an explanation of why there were charges to replace a filling that wasn’t done correctly. I decided to call and ask that question. I didn’t immediately pick up the phone to call the dentist. I actually sat there staring at the phone for an hour until it was close to 5pm before I had the courage to call. What I thought I was afraid of was that I would not be able to communicate my question clearly, even though I had written it down and had the piece of paper with the question in front of me.

When I did finally make the call, the response was what I had hoped for. “You shouldn’t have been charged and of course, we will reverse them.” I was relieved and concerned at the same time. Relieved that the charges were going to be reversed and concerned that I had spent much of the day all topsy turvy over what had happened.

I decided to take my mom’s advice to follow her healing process as stressful or triggering circumstances arose.

What I discovered in that process was that what scared me the most was that I would get an answer that I didn’t like or didn’t feel was fair. In that case, my emotional response to that answer would be too much for me to handle. I was afraid that I would exposed as incompetent, or too sensitive or emotional. What I did in those situations was to hide and avoid asking questions which caused me to be in the dark and confused. That’s all I knew to do with my limited problem-solving skills. This resulted in self-sabotage because what I most feared became true. It’s challenging to be or look competent when you don’t have all the information. My fears and confusion caused me to be in high alert which, in turn, caused me to overreact, appearing too sensitive or emotional.

When I tapped into my intuition or divinely guided tools, I gained more clarity over the situation. I realized I didn’t have to be perfect in order to be viewed as someone who was competent. In fact, I could be perfectly flawed which is the experience of being human. I used the energy work of ThetaHealing^Ⓡ to shift all of this in my subconscious and felt a calmness wash over me when I thought about the events of the day.

I giggled to myself as this new perspective was revealed to me because I embrace people’s differences. The concept of neurodiversity is a passion of mine. I don’t see these differences as flaws. I actually see the beauty in people’s differences and the value that all of these differences bring to the world.

What a gift it was to myself to do this healing process. I’m going to do my best not to avoid doing the work going forward.

Healing Doesn’t Have to be Hard

Eight years ago, my mom and I discovered ThetaHealing^Ⓡ, an energy psychology method that allows you to find and remove the blocks in your life that are limiting you and causing self-sabotage. It’s a powerful tool. My mom fell in love with it and became certified to practice and teach ThetaHealing^Ⓡ. To this day, she uses the technique with me, with herself, and with her clients.

I’ve been trained in using this technique as well. In fact, I’ve taken seven different workshops in ThetaHealing^Ⓡ. For some reason, I’ve always resonated with the miraculous healing power of physical healings with ThetaHealing^Ⓡ and my mom has been interested in the trauma and belief oriented aspects of this work. Whenever I try to use these tools to address my own stress and overwhelm, and the trauma and limiting beliefs around these issues, I get stuck.

My mom was struggling with some self-doubt and fear-based limiting beliefs today and she shared with me what she was feeling. We discussed it briefly and she asked me if it would be helpful for me to observe her doing self-healing work. It was fun to be a part of that with her. Even when she addressed some emotionally charged events from the past, she stayed the course. When she was not getting an answer, she was patient and continued to wait for one.

When she finally got through the process, she seemed surprised by the outcome. In her process, she not only explores the survival-based strategies we use to solve a problem but also the lessons her soul is learning from the challenges. Our subconscious believes that we must have challenges in order to learn the lesson. These beliefs may be buried deep in our subconscious and you may not consciously be aware of them. I was not at all surprised because her soul was learning grit, and I know that’s something she struggles with. .

Her exploration took 45 minutes to an hour. However, once the self-sabotaging beliefs and lessons were identified and confirmed with muscle testing, it took only a few minutes to use energy healing to change these beliefs. She confirmed the changes were made by muscle testing again and also feeling into her self-doubt and fear that she felt earlier. It was gone.

Typically, when I do the work on myself, I give up after a couple of minutes and wait for my mom to help me, instead of trust I can do the work myself. I’m never sure if the information I am receiving is coming from my fear-based self or if I’m being divinely guided.

Watching my mom work on herself made me feel closer to her. She struggles with the same human struggles we all do. The difference is that she isn’t afraid to admit it and is constantly working on herself.

Although I have recently become more consistent in doing sessions with my mom, I have not yet gotten into the habit of addressing challenges as soon as they come up. It often takes me to have a meltdown to realize there’s something brewing in my subconscious and that I have the tools to address them.

The most important lesson I learned today was that healing doesn’t have to be hard.

My homework assignment – be more cognizant of triggering situations and what I can do about them. Do the work and don’t give up. And remember to bring some levity into my healing journey.

If you’d like to begin a conversation with me about this work, feel free to email me at alyssa@alyssaphillips.blog.