Sometimes You Need to do a Look Back to See How Far You’ve Come

I wasn’t sure I was getting anywhere on this healing journey.  While I am noticing there are more good moments, I tend to get discouraged when it doesn’t seem like I am getting where I want to go quick enough.  So, I decided to do a look back to where things were when I started.  

I went down memory lane by looking at some videos that I recorded before I left my job as a special education teacher.  I knew I was stressed…but…I didn’t realize how stressed I was until I looked at the videos. The first picture is of me in one of the videos. I was actually quite shocked when I looked back at how the stress had taken its toll on me back then.

The second picture is of me now.  It’s a remarkable difference. A picture is worth a thousand words.  

While I continue to work through my stress, I am encouraged to see how far I’ve come.  

I have been honest about my journey.  It hasn’t been easy. I started off paralyzed.  Then with the support of my mentor/coach and a plan, I took just a few baby steps.  When I was able to be a little less wobbly, I took some bigger steps.  

I thought the journey would take a linear path.  I’ve seen this cartoon before but never understood the impact of it until now.  It captures my journey perfectly.

I struggled with being consistent.  I still have difficulty with that. But, the steps I have taken so far, including being more aware, using meditation, and doing ThetaHealing^Ⓡ sessions have started to have an effect.  An effect that I couldn’t see at first…until one day I did.   I noticed that my anxiety had reduced quite a bit. And that was a miracle to me.  

I still get anxious.  But, I’m starting to know that I’m going to be ok.  The anxiety doesn’t overtake every waking and sleeping moment the way it did before.  I am learning to allow myself to feel the anxiety, honor it, listen to it, understand it, and then work through where my perception of what’s actually happening is off, to give me a chance to experience it less and less over time.   

I’m not saying that I feel that all is right with the world.  I have good days and bad days. I’m starting to feel grateful for the good days.  I’m starting to understand the bad days. And I’m learning to cherish all the days.

What I’ve realized is, sometimes you need to do a look back at just how far you’ve come.  It is important to celebrate the progress you do make while at the same time, allowing yourself time to heal.