The Fear of Not Being Liked

Photo by Parizad Shojaei on Unsplash

I must really find comfort in self-sabotaging what I want because I constantly do it.  We self-sabotage when we engage in behaviors that cause us to get the opposite of what we want.

Some of this self-sabotaging behavior can be abusing drugs or alcohol, comfort eating, and procrastinating, among others.  I don’t abuse drugs or alcohol and I rarely comfort eat. I will admit, I do procrastinate quite a bit.

But, I self-sabotage in other ways.  It feels like every event that happens in my life is a form of self-sabotaging behavior.  I end up not getting what I want because of how I react, how I communicate, or how I don’t communicate.

Like everybody else, I desperately want people to like me.  And yet, I never allow anyone to really know me, much less like me.  In social situations, I generally act in one of two ways. I either say nothing at all or act really awkward.  I wait for someone to speak to me first, I don’t offer my hand for a handshake or initiate a hug. I don’t make people comfortable which is something that’s so important to me. 

I’ve been noticing it a lot lately and looking at ways to show up differently.

The first thing I am going to do is treat everyone how I would like to be treated.

I’m going to ask questions, listen and comment on what they are saying.

I’m going to ask for clarification if I don’t understand something. 

I’m going to stop expecting people to read my mind and I’m going to share my thoughts, my desires and my expectations with other people. 

I’m going to smile more.

And I’m going to try not to take myself too seriously..


I’m going to figure out who I am, what I enjoy, what I am passionate about and see my own value. Once I do, I’m going to worry less about what people think and work on being the best version of me. 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: