Will Being More Aware Lead to Less Self-Sabotage?

In the spirit of my recent commitment to being honest with myself, I decided to check in with how I’m feeling.  I realized that my anxiety is still very high. If I have to rate it on a 1-10 scale, when I actually look at it, I might rate it as at least an 8.  

So, I decided to take a look at what this means and why.

For me, anxiety means I have trouble making even the smallest decisions, and that circumstances that come up feel catastrophic when they really aren’t.  None of these seemingly catastrophic circumstances have been life or death. So why am I unable to control my anxiety?

I believe that my anxiety can be helped through a combination of practices: eating healthy, working on myself through ThetaHealing, getting enough sleep, exercise, and a daily meditative practice.

Intellectually, I know that all of these things work to help with my anxiety.  And yet, I fall back into the patterns of not doing all of the work that I need to do to heal  the anxiety.

Sure, I’m fairly consistent with eating healthy.  I very rarely eat junk food or fried food and mostly drink water, tea, and a little bit of coffee. But just eating healthy isn’t enough.  

I don’t consistently do the other steps to healing the anxiety.  Yes, I’ve been resisting the ThetaHealing less and been more open to looking inward and changing the beliefs that are hidden in my subconscious.  But I don’t always. The other day, I realized that I feel as if everything is catastrophic. Although I made a note of wanting to work through why it feels that way later, I never actually did.  

For me, my anxiety also means that I struggle to complete tasks, which leads me into a cycle of staying up late to complete the tasks, needing to be up early, and being exhausted throughout the day for not getting enough sleep.  I promised myself the other day that I would plan out what time I needed to get to bed, and plan to get ready an hour earlier. I’m still trying to figure that out. Even knowing what time I need to get up, I still struggle with putting everything down and getting to sleep on time. 

I do not specifically set aside a time for exercising.  I’ve never really been a fan. But, when I actually do exercise, I feel so much better during it and after.

I have not been doing a consistent daily meditative practice.  The other day, I committed to doing a meditation that day whatever time it was.  And I completed it, but it was not without interruptions. So, I lied to myself that I had done a meditation when in reality, I didn’t fully do it because a few times, I paused to do something else and then returned back to it instead of starting over.  I also realized that I often have a hard time staying awake with meditations, so if I’m falling asleep, I’m not doing the meditation.

If I’m being truly honest with myself, I’m probably not going to change all of these in one day.  But, I can start with one or two, and work to get past my habit of only doing the practices for a day or two before stopping.

I have all of these tools to help with anxiety, and yet I don’t use them.  I know that I need to use them and yet, I get anxious about doing them. I’d love to hear your suggestions on how you stay on track.

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