What Could You Accomplish if Someone Helped Illuminate Your Path?

One of the things I didn’t understand before I went on this journey was the value of a trusted guide, mentor or coach.  

One of the most valuable lessons from having a trusted guide is that I have been able to be kinder to myself.  I often gave myself a hard time for not knowing what to do, not doing the work, and not doing anything different.  

I’ve realized that there are reasons I haven’t been able to do it on my own.  I have gotten such clarity about this. If I could have done this on my own, I would have.  In many ways, that’s been a relief to me.  

So, how has my trusted guide/coach helped me?

1. She sees things in me that I don’t see.  She is always pointing out my strengths and my gifts.  Often, I don’t see these things in myself. Sometimes, I forget that I have them.  What she has taught me is that you just need one person to believe in you. She’s my one person.  I have a greater understanding of why I don’t see these things and even more, why there’s always negative self-talk in the background.  She helps me with strategies to address the negative self-talk and to see my truth. I now know there’s a calm and confident woman inside me and I am working hard to let her shine.

2.  She points out when I am self-sabotaging.  For example, when a minor issue comes up, it feels like a major catastrophe.  Because I feel like it’s a catastrophic event, I believe it actually is. She is able to see when my feelings don’t match reality without judging me.  She helps me to understand that my feelings are understandable under the circumstances. She helps me to see that my feelings are based on past experiences and we are able to identify those past experiences.  We even sometimes identify the past experiences of my ancestors that are causing me to feel the way I do. She helps me to understand that I am using limited tools to problem solve and teaching me way better tools to find solutions to both experiences of the past and situations in the present.     

3. She provides another perspective.  Sometimes, I’m so caught up in my own stuff that I forget that others are experiencing life differently than I am.  When I reach out to my coach and share my experience, she can gently remind me “hey, this doesn’t have to do with you.”  I am working on not taking things so personally. I am working on sorting through when something is my stuff and when it’s someone else’s stuff.  I am learning how to use my intuition to distinguish the two. I am learning how to trust my intuition. I understand that when I am in fight or flight, I can’t tap into my intuition.  I am focusing on the practices she has taught me to calm down my fight or flight response. I feel like I am seeing a lot more clearly now as a result.  

4. She provides action steps and accountability.  My coach provides me with suggestions to move forward and helps me to figure out the steps myself.  She lets me determine the pace although she may give me a gentle push every now and again. The actions steps aren’t based on “just do it” no matter how I am feeling.  We incorporate meditation, breathing practices, ThetaHealing^Ⓡ sessions with her or on my own, as well as practical steps like saying yes to opportunities that show up and following up on those opportunities.  When I make a promise to her that I am going to do it, I feel more committed to getting it done. There are times, however, when I don’t get it done.  The great thing about my coach is that she doesn’t judge me or make me feel bad. Actually, just the opposite. We look at what is getting in my way and work through it with energy psychology work to create an opening so I can get it done.  

5. She is consistently there for me.  We schedule times to meet at periodic intervals but she is available to address questions, concerns or triggers in between scheduled sessions.  If she is not available, she taught me to write down my questions, concerns or triggers on a note in my phone so I don’t forget and we can address it when we meet next.  While she has a process, she doesn’t have a specific agenda and we are able to address things as they arise. It feels more organic rather than a one size fits all.  

6. She provides me with great resources, whether it’s a book, blogger, podcast, workshop, or some other source of information.  Some of my favorite resources have been books or meditations by Dr. Joe Dispenza, Into the Magic Shop by James Doty, Transforming Stress by Doc Childre and Deborah Rozman, Proof of Heaven by Eben Alexander, and all of the ThetaHealing^Ⓡ workshops I have taken.

7. She reminds me to use my gifts.  I forget that I am actually capable and very smart, that I can problem solve when I don’t give up too quickly, that I have great insights in different situations (for example, I see people’s differences as beautiful), that my intuition can help me from being so fearful, that I love helping people and I get joy when others have successes, and more.

8. She cares and I am completely confident in that. I never feel alone on this journey which makes it easier to take chances, push boundaries, and practice being brave.  I never feel judged and I know that she will be there for me, no matter what. Sometimes, I can even solve a problem by pretending I am having a conversation with her in my head.  

If you work with a coach, I would love to hear how that’s working out for you and what’s been the biggest benefit on your journey? 

P.S.  I resisted my coach for a long time.  I’ve observed her doing her own work and she has worked with other people for years.  I didn’t think my mom was the right person to help me. What did I know? It turns out that she has a ton of great tools and I am glad I stopped digging my heels in and gave her a chance.  If you’d like to talk to her about your specific circumstances, go to her website (belindaphillips.com) and request a meeting.