After all my procrastinating from taking the steps to doing the work I knew I needed to do to feel better, distracting with mindless activities, and trying to come up with excuses as to why I couldn’t do it (and I didn’t have the excuse that I didn’t have time any longer), I decided to really take a look at what was going on. Why won’t I do a simple breathing practice once or twice a day? Especially when it only takes one minute to do it and I notice my fight or flight response calming down even after only one minute of breathing.
And yet, I have continued to avoid doing the practice like the plague.
Forcing myself to do the breathing doesn’t work. I will just avoid, not do the work, make excuses until it is too late, or tell myself I’ll start tomorrow.
I am keenly aware that when I can’t take action towards something, there is often an underlying reason lurking in the darkness of my mind and body. I decided it was time to dive into the darkness and I couldn’t do it myself and I definitely couldn’t do it without effective tools.
I reluctantly asked my mom for help even though I know I can’t do this on my own. If I could have done it on my own, wouldn’t I have already done it? My mom always says that all you need is one person to believe in you. She points to the time Lady Gaga said that Bradley Cooper was the one person who believed she could act. I think Lady Gaga was right. And I know my mom is my one person, at least for now.
So my mom and I spent some time exploring with an amazing tool called ThetaHealingⓇ. We looked at the fears I was holding onto. Apparently I was afraid to let go of all my excuses and take action because I was afraid to make a mistake and for me, mistakes always had catastrophic consequences. We went deeper to a childhood experience and the experience of one of my ancestors where mistakes caused catastrophic consequences.
My limited problem solving tools caused me to make excuses for why I couldn’t take action so I didn’t experience a catastrophic consequence as the result of a mistake. Those limited problem solving tools ended up in me self-sabotaging what I really wanted – to feel better.
We then looked at what my soul was learning from these experiences and my mom intuited that I was learning to listen to divine messages but couldn’t hear them in my panicked state. Another self-sabotage.
With the help of this amazing energy psychology tool that changes beliefs using energy healing, I was able to experience these changes and be free of old outdated beliefs and problem solving tools sabotaging what I really wanted. We verified our findings by checking muscle memory and I felt freer as a result.
Oddly enough, a few minutes later, a circumstance came up where I had the opportunity to listen and I didn’t…and I had a small meltdown. Lesson to self, once the energetic shifts take place, I still have to be aware and create new habits. With more practice, I know I’ll do a better job, but for now, I feel like I’ve made some progress.
Off to do my breathing exercise…